Our spirits are corroded by living in an atmosphere of unrelenting contention - an argument culture.
Interpretation
Constant argumentation can negatively affect our spirits and well-being.
Deborah Tannen highlights how an environment filled with continuous conflict and contention can diminish our inner peace and vitality. Living in such a culture not only breeds stress but also deteriorates our ability to engage constructively with others, ultimately corroding our spirits.
In practice
In a speech on workplace dynamics, one might use this quote to highlight the detrimental effects of constant arguments.
Women as mothers grapple with corresponding contradictions. The adoration they feel for their grown daughters, mixed with the sense of responsibility for their well-being, can be overwhelming, matched only by the hurt they feel when their attempts to help or just stay connected are rebuffed or even excoriated as criticism or devilish interference.
Sister relationships span a huge range, from best friends to worst enemies. From 'I adore her; I talk to her five times a day' to 'I decided to cut her out of my life.' For most women, it's in between.
The trickiest thing about the double bind is that it operates imperceptibly, like shots from a gun with a silencer.
For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships.
Mothers and daughters find in each other the source of great comfort but also of great pain. We talk to each other in better and worse ways than we talk to anyone else.
Treating people the same is not equal treatment if they are not the same.
I use the words you taught me. If they don't mean anything any more, teach me others. Or let me be silent.
Wearing a dress shows I can be as feminine as I want. I'm a heterosexual...big deal, but if I was a homosexual, it wouldn't matter, either.
Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?
No one can occupy your generosity except you. Who can occupy your patience when impatience roars through you? Who except you can choose not to act with judgment when all of your thoughts are judgmental? Your life is yours to live, no matter how you choose to live it. When you do not think about how you intend to live it, it lives you.
Only as the written text began to speak would the voices of the forest, and of the river, begin to fade. And only then would language loosen its ancient association with the invisible breath, the spirit sever itself from the wind, the psyche dissociate itself from the environing air.
The curse of me and my nation is that we always think things can be bettered by immediate action of some sort, any sort rather than no sort.
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