You know the old adage: Plant an expectation, reap a disappointment.
Until-as often happened during those first months travel, whenever I would feel such happiness-my guilt alarm went off. I heard my ex-husband's voice speaking disdainfully in my ear: So this is what you gave up everything for? This is why you gutted our entire life together? For a few stalks of asparagus and an Italian newspaper? I replied aloud to him: "First of all," I said, "I'm very sorry, but this isn't your business anymore. And secondly, to answer you question...yes.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote reflects the internal struggle of finding joy after a painful separation, while confronting guilt and judgement from the past.
In this quote, Elizabeth Gilbert expresses the tension between experiencing happiness and feeling guilt over her past decisions, particularly the emotional turmoil stemming from her previous marriage. She confronts the critical voice of her ex-husband, acknowledging that her current joy—represented by simple pleasures such as fresh food and reading—is valued over the sacrifices made during their life together. This encapsulates the journey of reclaiming one's happiness post-separation and the need to silence negative self-talk.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
Sharing the quote during a motivational speech about overcoming past relationships.
More from Elizabeth Gilbert
All quotes →Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion, we are only robots.
I had always been taught that the pursuit of happiness was my natural (even national) birthright. It is the emotional trademark of my culture to seek happiness. Not just any kind of happiness, either, but profound happiness, even soaring happiness. And what could possibly bring a person more soaring happiness than romantic love.
When I tried this morning, after an hour or so of unhappy thinking, to dip back into my meditation, I took a new idea with me: compassion. I asked my heart if it could please infuse my soul with a more generous perspective on my mind's workings. Instead of thinking that I was a failure, could I perhaps accept that I am only a human being--and a normal one, at that?
And when you sense a faint potentiality for happiness after such dark times you must grab onto the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face-first out of the dirt - this is not selfishness, but obligation. You were given life; it is your duty to find something beautiful within life no matter how slight.
But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilling yearnings.
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There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.