You can't tell someone they are wrong about their own life..

I Love, Therefore I Am.

To have failed is to have striven, to have striven is to have grown..

Anybody that'll stand up to The Cline is all right..

Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable..

I'm a chronic relapser. I guess I always will be..

Being a comedian, you're under pressure. You have to deal with stress and pressure to perform - to deal with pressure without stress..

My dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett..

Misbehave more beautifully; more often..

Everything possible to be believed is an image of truth." -Taleswapper.

I was so keen to become a comedian that actually doing the comedy itself almost came second..

The public is never wrong..

You don't adjust. You just dominate..

I have no literary fears..

Because they knew each other's thoughts, they even quarrelled without speaking..

I'm a version of the same person..

I have seen my mugshot..

Never live with someone that won the Heisman..

We are not by nature cruel..

[G]lobal warming, that manufactured monomania..

I like it when I strut..