Quotes on Nonviolent Communication

Every moment each human being is doing the best we know at that moment to meet our needs. We never do anything that is not in the service of a need, there is no conflict on our planet at the level of needs. We all have the same needs. The problem is in strategies for meeting the needs.

Some people use NVC to respond compassionately to themselves, some to create greater depth in their personal relationships, and still others to build effective relationships at work or in the political arena. Worldwide, NVC is used to mediate disputes and conflicts at all levels.

Conventional compliments often take the form of judgments however positive, and are sometimes offered to manipulate the behavior of others. NVC encourages the expression of appreciation solely for celebration.

The number one reason that we don't get our needs met, we don't express them. We express judgments. If we do express needs, the number two reasons we don't our needs met, we don't make clear requests.

The most dangerous of all behaviors may consist of doing things 'because we're supposed to.

The key to fostering connection in the face of a 'no' is always hearing 'yes' to something else.

We are never angry because of what others say or do. It is our thinking that makes us angry.

Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.

We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred.

As long as I think I 'should' do it, I'll resist it, even if I want very much to do it.

Get very clear about the kind of world we would like and then start living that way.

Compliments and praise, for their part, are tragic expressions of fulfilled needs

I don't think you can have an authentic connection when one person is diagnosing the other.

The cause of anger lies in our thinking - in thoughts of blame and judgment.

Every message, regardless of form or content, is an expression of a need.

Always listen to what people need rather than what they are thinking about us.

What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.

Enemy images are the main reason conflicts don't get resolved.

Learning is too precious to be motivated by coercive tactics.

People do not hear our pain when they believe they are at fault.

Judgments of others contribute to self-fulfilling prophecies.