Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
I don't think you can have an authentic connection when one person is diagnosing the other.
Interpretation
True connection requires understanding and empathy, not judgment.
This quote emphasizes the importance of authenticity in relationships, suggesting that genuine connections cannot flourish if one person adopts a diagnostic or judgmental stance towards another. It highlights the necessity of empathy and understanding, rather than criticism, to foster deeper, more meaningful interactions between individuals.
In practice
This quote can be used during a workshop on effective communication in relationships.
Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.
All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.
The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.
There are so many ways to betray someone. You can whisper behind his back. You can deceive him on purpose. You can deliver him into the hands of his enemy, when he trusts you. You can break a promise. The question is, if you do any of those things, are you also betraying yourself?
Never underestimate the meanness in people's souls... Even when they're being kind... especially when they're being kind.
It never seems to occur to anybody that some women may not want to find husbands.
He was well aware that of the two of three thousand times he had made love (how many times had he made love in his life?) only two or three were really essential and unforgettable. The rest were mere echoes, imitations, repetitions, or reminiscences.
I like actors very much, but to marry one would be like marrying your brother. You look too much alike in the mirror.
Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. But beautiful women don't need to know about men. It's the men who have to know about beautiful women.
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