I would wager that the number of civilians that were killed [in] a typical week under Saddam Hussein was probably more than we killed during the week….

Also, in the category of 'obvious but still shocking,' an animal called a 'killer whale' killed someone who was trying to play with it. Now, no one k….

The shame would be if Democrats get thrown out of office without ever having tried Democratic policies..

For the first time since 1979, we are talking to the Islamic Republic of Iran. Obama says talking to him is probably pointless, but it's a hell of a ….

One of the reasons I still do stand-up is because it was so hard in the beginning that I feel like it would be such a shame not to redeem it that it'….

Last week John McCain said the fundamentals of our economy are strong. This week, he said it's the worst crisis since World War II. So he suspended h….

New Rule: Someone must x-ray my stomach to see if the Peeps I ate on Easter are still in there, intact and completely undigested. And I'm not talking….

I ... would guess maybe about one or two out of five men is suited for marriage and probably four out of five women are better at marriage than being….

But isn't there something wrong when I'm the only guy in the country that got fired for 9/11?.

If a President must constantly remind the people that we're at war, then we're not..

It's a little strange when you have never been to war, and you eye-roll about a guy who's got shrapnel still in his body, as Chuck Hagel does..

Nowas you all know, this week, Pope Benedict told Vatican Radio—you know, Vatican Radio, playing the hits from the 8th century, 9th century and today….

What is with this campy fixation on all things Ronald Reagan? They talk about him the way gay people talk about Barbra Streisand. I think they want h….

Lip-synching?! Let that be a lesson. If you are in Washington, D.C., and you open your mouth and another voice comes out, it better be the NRA, an oi….

Time magazine put Chris Christie on the cover with the caption, 'The Elephant in the Room.' And People magazine named him 'Sexiest Garbage Truck in a….

It's so childish, "greatest country in the world." It's like saying, "I have the greatest wife in the world. Not just the one best suited for me, the….

I used to stay at the Trump [hotels] and I just wouldn't now. The people were great, but I wouldn't stay at a 'birther' hotel..

When did the business community in America become so sensitive? ... that we have to treat like some type of rare exotic animal - don't startle them o….

This is America. We don't call an election before we know who won. That, after all, is the job of the Supreme Court..

Conservatives claim [Hillary] Clinton campaign involved in satanic 'spirit cooking'..

The truth can be hard to take, but we have an obligation to look and see what's going on, and, if we don't like it, a chance to stop going along with….