Everybody has a magazine and a channel. There are 500 channels and 500 magazines, and we wonder why we're not united as a country..

Community is gathering around a fire and listening to someone tell a story..

I mean, maybe one day we will live in a more optimum world where terrorists come in every color of the rainbow. But the truth is, now they don't. I m….

You can behead people, you can crucify them, you can cut their hearts out and eat them on YouTube...but, don't screw with the place where God hid Ame….

It somehow became an article of faith on the right that Obama is the most extreme president in American history. Although, when they say that, I thin….

The American people don't really care what side of an issue you're on. They just don't want you to act like a pussy..

Gingrich is the "foremost intellectual" in the Republican party like Gene Simmons is the foremost intellectual in "Kiss"..

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort of art medium, and it's not. Others think it's an ente….

The Hollywood executives are, like, ‘We’re not racist, we just have to pretend to be racists because we’re capitalists. We want to sell our movies in….

I love trains. It's the only way to travel anymore where it doesn't involve a TSA agent slowly tracing the curve of my inner thigh..

Democrats are afraid of polls. Republicans aren`t afraid of polls. Republicans make polls. Democrats run from polls..

The Tea Baggers, they're not a movement, they're a cult.... Cults tend to populate from within, encouraging members to have huge broods of children a….

I believe in God, I just give him more credit than being a single parent and an author..

I get the Playboy thing a lot. People assume I go out with bimbos. I couldn`t go out with bimbos if I tried! I scare them off! The women that like me….

If it makes you feel any better we will be happy to attack a country that had nothing to do with it..

Next week John Boehner will be sitting behind Barack Obama at the State of the Union address. I think Obama should purposely try to embarrass him by ….

The Republicans proved they are not the party of 'no.' They're the party of 'f**k, no!'.

In the Muslim world, much of it, they cannot conceive of something coming out of the United States that wouldn't be sanctioned by the government, bec….

The president finally explained why he sat in that classroom on 9/11 for 7 minutes after he was told the country was under attack. He said he was 'co….

People on the right say to people like me, Oh, you hate America. And I always say, No, I love America. I want it back. I don't want you representing ….

Do you think if it was the fairy tale about a man who lived inside of a whale and it was religion that Jack built a beanstalk today, you would know t….