The constants all through the centuries will be the same; wine, women and song. Other than that, life will be very different technologically. In the ….

I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?.

Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice..

Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction..

Next to gold and jewelry, health is the most important thing you can have..

You've got to realize that when all goes well, and everything is beautiful, you have no comedy. It's when somebody steps on the bride's train, or bel….

Doctors say it's okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door..

I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it..

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away..

Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight..

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up..

Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ….

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight..

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once..

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'.

If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy..

I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren..

I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along..

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do..

My own laugh is the real thing and I've had it all my life..

My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his..