My battles with addiction definitely shaped how I am now. They really made me deeply appreciate human contact. And the value of friends and family, h….

The things we fear the most have already happened to us..

Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the m….

I want everyone out there in TV land to touch the TV. Touch the back of the TV and get a shock for Jesus..

After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car..

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist..

It's five o'clock in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time..

The idea of being a character who is kind of isolated, I can relate to that..

Ah...so many pedestrians, so little time....

My favorite thing to do is ride a bicycle. I ride road bikes. And for me, it's mobile meditation..

I met Jonah Lomu. I never knew how huge he was. I felt like a peasant in a Godzilla movie. 'Quickly! Tell the other villagers! We go now!'.

Ronald Reagan is the world's largest Muppet..

I know size can be daunting but don't be afraid..

My God, look at the size of this man! Quick! Tell the other villagers we're going back to the boats!.

Politics is so personal, vicious and immediate, how are you going to get anything done? Even the local politics where I live have gotten so ugly..

If women ran the world, we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days..

Please, don't worry so much. Because in the end, none of us have very long on this Earth. Life is fleeting..

Before the Web, there was just one guy running around saying 'I KNOW!'.

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!.

To be acknowledged for who and what I am, no more, no less. Not for acclaim, not for approval, but, the simple truth of that recognition. This has be….

There's three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer..