You’ve got to be crazy! It’s too late to be sane, too late. You’ve got to go full tilt bozo... ‘Cause you’re only given a little spark of madness... ….

A human life is just a heartbeat in heaven..

I was once walking in an airport and a woman came up to me and said, 'Be zany!'. That'd be like walking up to Baryshikov and going, 'Plie! Just do a ….

Crying never helped anybody do anything, okay? You have a problem, you face it like a man..

Golf is one of the few sports where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad..

My favorite is when you go to Afghanistan and you meet the special forces guys, and they look like these heavily armed surfers. These guys are the be….

One day [when I relapsed] I walked into a store and saw a little bottle of Jack Daniel's. And then that voice - I call it the 'lower power' - goes, '….

There are times when life's just real quiet and simple. I sometimes get tired of people saying, "Well, what are you really like?".

I'm fascinated by the new iPhone. I bought it and kept trying to use it in France. "Siri, what is a good restaurant?" (In a robotic voice.) "I'm sorr….

Nobody takes a picture of something they want to forget..

Stand-up is the place where you can do things that you could never do in public. Once you step on stage you're licensed to do that. It's an understoo….

It's frightening and exhilarating. It's like combat. Look at the metaphors: You kill when it works; you die when it doesn't..

Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma..

With mountain biking, it's always that constant thing, negotiating singletrack, which I like, but for a road ride that rhythm is really Buddhist. Whe….

For a while you get mad, then you get over it..

Along with the Oscars, the Academy is giving out a green card..

But if there's love, dear... those are the ties that bind, and you'll have a family in your heart, forever..

On rides you see things that trigger ideas. And most the time it's just not doing anything but riding ... letting it all go..

Gentlemen, haven't we learned anything from the music of John Lennon? All we need is love..

No man is an island; but some are peninsulas..

My battles with addiction definitely shaped how I am now. They really made me deeply appreciate human contact. And the value of friends and family, h….