Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
All moralistic judgments, whether positive or negative, are tragic expressions of unmet needs.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Moral judgments reflect deeper needs that remain unfulfilled.
This quote suggests that when we make moralistic judgments about others—condemning or praising their actions—we are actually expressing our own unmet needs. It implies that rather than simply labeling behaviors as right or wrong, we should look deeper at the needs that drive those judgments, revealing the emotional motivations behind our moral assessments.
Themes
Moral JudgmentsUnmet NeedsNeedsEmotionsUnderstanding
In practice
Example use cases
In a workshop about communication, this quote can be used to highlight the importance of understanding each other's emotional needs.
More from Marshall B. Rosenberg
All quotes →Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.
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All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
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