When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.
Bren BrownRead
Vulnerability is based on mutuality and requires boundaries and trust. It's not oversharing, it's not purging, it's not indiscriminate disclosure, and it's not celebrity-style social media information dumps. Vulnerability is about sharing our feelings and our experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them.
Interpretation
Vulnerability involves sharing personal feelings with trustworthy individuals rather than oversharing indiscriminately.
BrenΓ© Brown emphasizes that true vulnerability stems from a foundation of mutual trust and respect, where personal experiences and emotions are shared intentionally with those who genuinely deserve to hear them. It contrasts with the idea of indiscriminate sharing often seen on social media, underlining the need for boundaries and careful consideration of whom we open up to.
In practice
During a workshop on emotional intelligence, the facilitator used this quote to discuss the importance of vulnerability in building authentic connections.
When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.
Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that's really preventing us from taking flight.
Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two really good friends, we are lucky.
What we know matters but who we are matters more.
Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are.
Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.
Naturally Shirley had known, as they slid stock words and phrases back and forth between them like beads on an abacus, that Howard must be as brimful of ecstasy as she was; but to express these feelings out loud, when the news of death was still fresh in the air, would have been tantamount to dancing naked and shrieking obscenities, and Howard and Shirley were clothed, always, in an invisible layer of decorum that they never laid aside.
I don't think you can have an authentic connection when one person is diagnosing the other.
Families break up when they get hints you don't intend and miss hints that you do.
The question isn't, 'What do we want to know about people?', It's, 'What do people want to tell about themselves?'
Toughening up, performing masculinity, pretending to enjoy things I didn't enjoy all enabled me to dodge the gender policing of the adults around me. But the way I really was - the swished hips, the Double-Dutching, the hair flips - seemed to always prevail and attract Dad's disdain.
A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them - they're who they've been throughout your whole relationship.
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