If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. That's why I b….

I add a smile to everything I wear and that has worked great for me..

Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away..

I would have taught her a les­son she wouldn't forget!.

Last week I got a flu that I caught, 'cause my daughter coughed ... into my mouth..

That's the old ecological tale that explains humans' inability to fully appreciate global warming. To wit: if you drop a frog in a pan of hot water, ….

Father told me that if I ever met a lady in a dress like yours, I must look her straight in the eyes..

Young people are the same as they always were. They are just as ignorant..

The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined..

Ethical dilemmas have a way of sneaking up on a person. If something smells funny, stay away from it. Or help get rid of it..

Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you." That's now escalated into "You ca….

Life is just a bowl of pits..

In the majority of cases, conscience is an elastic and very flexible article.

I just want one day off when I can go swimming and eat ice cream and look at rainbows..

I had my first bowl of gazpacho when I was fifteen in Spain, and the impression it made was a lasting one..

To be honest dinner conversations was the worst bit about being a child and listening to the boring people around me..

Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself..

I felt like my vote was the vote that put [Obama] into office. It was down to one vote, and that was going to be my vote. And that may not be true, b….

Some days I feel like everyone in my world has plugged themselves into my kidneys. I'm so tired..

I don't want to be rich and I don't want to be famous..

A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment..