The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing..

Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache..

A dugout is much superior to a conventional manufactured canoe because you can get soaking wet without bothering to capsize it..

If olive oil comes from olives, then where does baby oil come from?.

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?.

It's not common for a woman on television, especially if she's the mom of the family, to be funny. She's usually a straight man or foil..

When I was 14, I saw someone getting their face and wrists slashed with a knife in a pub in Catford. Nobody lifted a finger. That's when I realised t….

In the old days, we painstakingly copied our emails onto paper, put a stamp on them and mailed them to arrive 4 to 5 days later. We also churned our ….

The morning after my high-school graduation found me up early job hunting. The dream of college I put on the back burner..

All my wife has ever taken from the Mediterranean - from that whole vast intuitive culture - are four bottles of Chianti to make into lamps, and two ….

Streets crowded with people strolling, or sitting at outdoor cafes. And always, talking, gesturing, singing, laughing. I liked Rome immediately.Every….

Only become a musician if there is absolutely no other way you can make a living..

There is nothing so absurd that some philosopher has not already said it..

A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well - almost..

I work in a "you scratch my back, and I'll stab yours" kind of a place..

I went to the butchers to buy a leg of lamb. "Is it Scotch?", I asked. "Why?" the butcher said in reply. "Are you going to talk to it or eat it?". "I….

When you cut it up, put the pieces in your mouth and swallowed them, the British hamburger shaped itself to the bottom on your stomach like ballast, ….

My father, who was from a wealthy family and highly educated, a lawyer, Yale and Columbia, walked out with the benefit of a healthy push from my moth….

Never mistake legibility for communication..

I have never been hurt by what I have not said..

I'll save that for Mrs. Battier..