This is the most elaborate and luxurious method of convincing others that you can cook. Take everybody out on your yacht until they're green in the f….

If we are strong, and have faith in life and its richness of surprises, and hold the rudder steadily in our hands. I am sure we will sail into quiet ….

I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.'….

When you're famous you can't go to Topshop. Even when I disguise myself in a moustache, baseball cap, sunglasses - the full Madonna kit - it doesn't ….

It's like this, dear boy, the one in front is blind and the kind one behind is pushing him..

I rang the bell of this small bed-and breakfast place, whereupon a lady appeared at an outside window. "What do you want?", she asked. "I want to sta….

I think it's funny. There was a time when men were afraid that somebody would reveal some secret of theirs that was unknown to their fellows. Nowaday….

Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time..

I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat..

I did not want to turn to playing golf because golf is about as much exercise as shuffling cards..

I'm a mischievous drunk..

I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny..

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it..

Wagner has lovely moments but awful quarters of an hour..

They had a... dog called Bluey. A know psychopath, Bluey would attack himself if nothing else was available..

As I approve of a youth that has something of the old man in him, so I am no less pleased with an old man that has something of the youth. He that fo….

The only food he has ever stolen has been down on a coffee table. He claims that he genuinely believed it to be a table meant for dogs..

Men are like shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes you go out shopping and there's nothing you like. And then, as luck would have it, the….

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest..

Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book..

I'm not retiring. I am graduating. Today is my graduation day. Retirement means that you'll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day i….