Curve: The loveliest distance between two points..

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers..

If Disney still wants to make Epcot Center futuristic, they could do so by blowing the place up with an atom bomb..

Sometimes I get drunk and I get into arguments with taxi drivers. And I get out the cab and I slam the door. That's not the way to win an argument wi….

We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?.

You don't have to be straight to be in the military; you just have to be able to shoot straight..

The enemy of society is middle class and the enemy of life is middle age..

On his telepathic understanding with James Worthy- It's almost like we have ESPN..

When I go abroad I always sail from Boston because it is such a pleasant place to get away from..

I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that..

Astrology is not an art, it is a disease..

A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!".

Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements..

Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good..

It's more difficult getting up early in the morning when you're wearing silk pajamas..

The meek shall inherit the Earth, but not its mineral rights..

None of us can boast about the morality of our ancestors. The record does not show that Adam and Eve were ever married..

Never draw anything you can copy, never copy anything you can trace, never trace anything you can cut out and paste up..

Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded..

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments..

When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13..