If I could read a book, I'd definitely read one of yours..

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work..

When women go wrong, men go right after them..

I look forward to the invention of faster-than-light travel. What I'm not looking forward to is the long wait in the dark once I arrive at my destina….

Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation an….

Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?.

You can't even go to Heaven if you get killed by Spinach, you can't even go. You don't even know what to tell Jesus. You Just 'You know what Jesus, I….

I'm stingy and I'm proud of the reputation..

Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!' 'Goodness had nothing to do with it'..

Golf has probably kept more people sane than psychiatrists have..

If your pussy was so good, you would drive a better car..

Remember, your body needs 6 to 8 glasses of fluid daily. Straight up or on the rocks..

Any man whose errors take ten years to correct is quite a man..

You don't have to be an heiress to look like one, if you act like one then everyone will just presume you are one..

How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!.

I'm not a sexual person, really. I don't really care about sex..

Every animal leaves traces of what it was; man alone leaves traces of what he created..

Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the nex….

Women would rather be right than reasonable..

If your sister is in a tearing hurry to go out and cannot catch your eye, she's wearing your best sweater..

Good-looking people turn me off. Myself included..