History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives..

A poet can survive everything but a misprint..

Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usuall….

My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons..

Nothing more clearly shows how little God esteems his gift to men of wealth, money, position and other worldly goods, than the way he distributes the….

The greatest risk is to risk nothing at all.

Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies... a man's lie is, "I'm at Tony house, I was at Kenny house!" A woman lie is like, "It's your baby!".

I think that women, especially women in my job, come to me because they know I'm very loving and nonjudgmental and I'm not competitive, and I've been….

If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out..

I love people; it's mankind I can't stand..

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God..

Future generations will look back on TV as the lead in the water pipes that slowly drove the Romans mad..

My father walked to school 4 o'clock every morning with no shoes on, uphill, both ways, in 5 feet of snow and he was thankful..

Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer..

Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders..

We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language..

He is really not so ugly after all, provided, of course, that one shuts one's eyes, and does not look at him..

Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner..

Women will forgive anything. Otherwise, the race would have died out long ago..

You can figure out how bad a person you are by how soon after September 11th you masturbated, like how long you waited... and for me it was between t….

What's it like kissing Taylor Lautner..