Quotes on Humor

He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.

All drugs of any interest to any moderately intelligent person in America are now illegal.

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.

In some sort of crude sense, which no vulgarity, no humor, no overstatement can quite extinguish, the physicists have known sin; and this is a knowledge which they cannot lose.

I've always thought that a big laugh is a really loud noise from the soul saying, "Ain't that the truth."

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Life is short. Kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.

Those who knew Lincoln described him as an extraordinarily funny man. Humor was an essential aspect of his temperament. He laughed, he explained, so he did not weep.

Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's hats.

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

I find no sweeter fat than sticks to my own bones.

The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.

My true friends have always given me that supreme proof of devotion, a spontaneous aversion for the man I loved.

You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.

If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.

Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.