You can have it all, but not all at once..

There you are, sir. There's nothing more than to love and be loved..

It takes at least one to make a marriage..

Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible..

Has anybody seen my tambourine?.

Live daringly, boldly, fearlessly..

When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder..

And she walked away, and she walked away, and that was that, and that was that..

Housework is like bad sex. Every time I do it I swear I will never do it again. Until the next time company comes..

Take what you do seriously, but yourself lightly.

Famous people come up to me, but I don't know who they are because my sight is so bad. It's always at the pool of the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills w….

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor?.

Everything I do, I do for love..

What doesn't kill us makes us funnier..

Think of fear as a 2-year-old child who doesn't want to go grocery shopping with you. Because you must buy groceries, you'll just have to take the tw….

Learning patience takes a lot of patience!.

I was carrying a beautiful alcoholic conflagration around with me. The thing fed on its own heat and flamed the fiercer. There was no time, in all my….

My Dear McClellan, if you don't want to use the army I should like to borrow it for a while. Yours respectfully..

The English laws punish vice; the Chinese laws do more, they reward virtue..

All of the music works on its own, but it doesn't really make as much sense without the picture..

I am always tying up and then deciding to depart..