Dinner was meat - not hunks of meat, as in Australia, but pathetic scraps of meat, as in Britain - which the girls upstairs transformed into edible d….

Might I trouble you to open the window, for chloroform vapour does not help the palate..

I'm a Christian-libertarian-environmentalist-capitalist-lunatic. It's a humorous way for me to describe that I'm not stereotypical..

I've always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It's an island and the audience can't run very far..

My folks were English . . . we were too poor to be British..

I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons..

Life is too serious to be taken seriously..

"I go so far as to say, miss, morehover," proceeded Mr. Cruncher, with a most alarming tendency to hold forth as from a pulpit-"and let my words be t….

Brothers are a blessing for one thing. There is no possibility of any young lady getting unreasonably conceited if she be endowed with them..

He had that rare weird electricity about him - that extremely wild and heavy presence that you only see in a person who has abandoned all hope of eve….

I have my own views about Nature's methods, though I feel that it is rather like a beetle giving his.

I am engaged in answering that Italian buffoon, Mazotti, whose views upon the larval development of the tropical termites have excited my derision an….

In recent years, perhaps encouraged by competition from McDonald's, the British hamburger has become a credit to the nation. At the time of which I s….

Now you can't even carry a nail clipper on a plane. Are they afraid you're going to go..."All right! Give me the plane or the b*tch loses her cuticle….

Detection is, or ought to be, an exact science, and should be treated in the same cold and unemotional manner. You have attempted to tinge it with ro….

Free speech isn't dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers..

Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?.

Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!.

I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem..

Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo..

A flatterer never seems absurd: The flatter'd always takes his word..