Racist dermatologists think all black people have really bad skin..

That's the worst way you can hear about comedy material: from a third person's blog story that they wrote when they were upset..

Todd Glass has amazing energy on stage. Dave Attell is one of my favorites because he's a one liner comic who is always incredibly in the moment with….

Of all the ways people save time, I think racism is the worst..

I enjoyed writing for someone elses voice, but I wasnt very good at it..

My dad was amazing. He raised five boys. All by himself. Without the rest of us knowing..

My sister is going to have a simple wedding. Just immediate family. And whoever the hell would want to marry her..

You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a bab….

I could see myself adopting a kid someday. But, obviously, I'd prefer it to be aborted..

The true meaning of Christmas is actually centuries of gullibility..

I'm actually a really nice guy, once you get to blow me..

My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend..

When I die, I want to be cremated with everybody..

Halloween is just a made up holiday, created by the razor blade industry..

I like to play pranks on my girlfriend, you know, keep things fresh for me, make me laugh, you know? She hates it. But like, the other night, I put S….

Usually the beginning of a story that people hear a lot. For example, "My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut" or "My dad keeps losing his car ….

Disasters are funny to me. As a comedian you learn from failure, so I'm always trying to put myself in a situation that does not seem ideal for my co….

In the second grade, I would just get bored and a joke would pop into my head and I would have to say it. It was almost like I had some brilliant nov….

It's always difficult when someone close to you passes away. But it's really tough when they're on top of you..

Disgusting. I just found my grandpa's Viagra. I swear, I almost puked from eating so many..

I always loved comedy, but it never seemed like something that I could do professionally..