Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flyi….

The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy..

In New York now, they have Harvey Milk High School for gay students. They don't have much of a football team, but the half-time show . . ..

I want to always be an interloper. I never want to feel like I'm a guy who is embraced by the people who are putting me on the air. I want to feel li….

Trump is a little tone-deaf to the average American. He unveiled his slogan this week: 'Are you better off than you were four wives ago?'.

Every asshole who ever chanted 'Drill baby drill' should have to report to the Gulf coast today for cleanup duty..

What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don't call him stupid because they don't agree with you politically..

New Rule: If you can force a woman to look at a sonogram—to see what will happen if she has an abortion—you also have to let her see a crying baby, a….

F. Scott Fitzgerald has an indespensible quote: 'The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at once a….

In Washington, the air quality today was described as 'red.'...You know what 'red' is? It's bad for everyone. Not just old people, sick people and ba….

Death is the monster we all fear, yet with each day, we walk toward it, and can't help doing so; we can't help but walk toward the one thing we're mo….

My wife always has a splitting archetype whenever I want to have sex..

Republicans say that sex is bad, because with them it always is. It is!...I'm sorry, but they're just doughy, asexual, wonky, white people, and if yo….

My policy is I am always more than happy to say, "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings." What I am not willing to do is take back what I said. Unless I ….

To those people who say, 'My father is alive because of animal experimentation,' I say, 'Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could….

America is like a dog. I'm sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can't actuall….

Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group..

They are having a panel look into the intelligence failures in Iraq. It is a seven-person panel and it will include Senator John McCain, but the find….

The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq. You know, when you….

New Rule: The people of America who were most in favor of the Iraq War must now go there and fight it..

Doctors said that the test most commonly used to screen for colon cancer doesn't go far enough. They're recommending a procedure that involves photog….