I asked a Jewish man, "Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?" He said, "Yes", and walked away..

Old teachers never die, they just grade away..

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started..

My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable..

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!".

Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do….

I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?.

I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions..

My wife has a black belt in shopping..

When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win..

College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink..

Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the bellboy made fifty-two trips to my room..

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and da….

Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy!.

Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer..

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip..

In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess..

"What's the latest dope on Wall Street?" "My son!".

My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo..

A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!".

My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory..