You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.'.

If you don't keep pushing the limits, you wake up one day and you're the "center square to block.".

I thought lacrosse was what you find in la church..

I learned that by being entertaining you make a connection with another person..

I love to ride my bike, which is great aerobics, but also just a great time for me to think, so it's like this terrific double bill..

When I'm riding my bicycle I feel like a Buddhist who is happy just to enjoy his mundane existence.

For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it c….

If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem..

I love running cross-country...You come up a hill and see two deer going, 'What the hell is he doing?' On a track I feel like a hamster..

I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way..

How much more can you give? Other than, literally, open-heart surgery onstage? Not much. But the only cure you have right now is the honesty of going….

Texting and driving at the same time is like jerking off and juggling at the same time. Too many balls in the air, if you catch my drift..

It was kind of a decompression - from straight alcohol to mixed drinks to wine to spritzers - and then you're out..

There are no rules. Just follow your heart..

If you're going to do a movie about the Village, it's pretty nice to shoot in the village and not be in Toronto..

Bicycles are pieces of art. You get that combination of kinetic engineering, but then, besides the welds, the paint jobs, the kind of the sculpture o….

You have to break in half to love somebody..

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House..

My comedy is like emotional hang-gliding..

Sucking the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone..

Carpe per diem - seize the check..