Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
Once you can clearly describe what you are reacting to, free of your interpretation or evaluation of it, other people are less likely to be defensive when they hear it.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Understanding and describing your feelings clearly can reduce defensiveness in others.
This quote emphasizes the importance of clear communication, particularly in conflict situations. By articulating your feelings and reactions without judgment or personal interpretation, you can foster a more receptive environment, making it easier for others to listen and engage constructively rather than defensively.
Themes
CommunicationUnderstandingReceptivenessDefensivenessFeelings
In practice
Example use cases
During a workplace meeting when discussing a project, you can use this quote to encourage team members to express their concerns without assigning blame.
More from Marshall B. Rosenberg
All quotes βWhether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
Similar quotes
You cannot speak that which you do not know. You cannot share that which you do not feel. You cannot translate that which you do not have. And you cannot give that which you do not possess. To give it and to share it, and for it to be effective, you first need to have it. Good communication starts with good preparation.
Jim RohnRead
The human voice: It's the instrument we all play. It's the most powerful sound in the world, probably. It's the only one that can start a war or say 'I love you.' And yet many people have the experience that when they speak, people don't listen to them.
Julian TreasureRead
People don't listen to understand. They listen to reply. The collective monologue is everyone talking and no one listening.
Stephen CoveyRead
You can't truly listen to someone and do anything else at the same time.
Julian TreasureRead
Communication is an offering. When you tell someone your truth, you must release your expectation of what the other person should do with it. They may thank you profusely, love you forever, argue with you, or ignore you. It doesn't matter. Of course we hope the gift will be received with appreciation and thanks. But if it isn't we must not dictate. We've done our part, and we must trust the universe to do the rest.
Alan CohenRead
Speech is the voice of the heart.
Anna QuindlenRead