What you want to do is put people in a position where they feel connected enough to you that they're willing to collaborate with you; they're willing to show you the things that they were scared to tell you about before.
Interpretation
The quote emphasizes the importance of building trust and connection for effective collaboration.
In this quote, Christopher Voss articulates the necessity of fostering strong emotional connections with others to enhance collaboration and communication. By creating an environment where people feel safe and understood, they are more likely to open up and share their vulnerabilities, enabling deeper collaboration and more effective teamwork.
In practice
In a team meeting to encourage open discussion about project feedback.
When you expect to get into a negotiation, you expect to be faced by a guy that's going to attack you, a guy or gal that's going to attack or that they're going to try to get the best of you. Two-thirds of us, that makes us very defensive.
Price doesn't make deals, and salary doesn't control your career.
There are three kinds of yeses. There's commitment, confirmation, and counterfeit. People are most used to giving the counterfeit yes because they've been trapped by the confirmation yes so many times. So the way you master no is understanding what really happens when somebody says 'no.' When yes is commitment, no is protection.
The sweetest two words in any negotiation are actually, 'That's right.' Before you convince them to see what you're trying to accomplish, you have to say the things to them that will get them to say, 'That's right.'
The secret to gaining the upper hand in a negotiation is to give the other side the illusion of control. Don't try to force your opponent to admit that you are right. Ask questions, that begin with 'How?' or 'What?' so your opponent uses mental energy to figure out the answer.
Very few negotiations are begun and concluded in the same sitting. It's really rare. In fact, If you sit down and actually complete your negotiation in one sitting, you left stuff on the table.
If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.
I must quit marrying men who feel inferior to me. Somewhere there must be a man who could be my husband and not feel inferior.
I've been accused of being too flexible, too willing to mold myself to men, and that's something I'm constantly working on.
I am an American citizen and feel I am entitled to the same rights as any other citizen.
Conventional compliments often take the form of judgments however positive, and are sometimes offered to manipulate the behavior of others. NVC encourages the expression of appreciation solely for celebration.
It's the damage that we do and never know. It's the words that we don't say that scare me so.
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