I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants..

If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends..

Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable..

If you open that Pandora's Box you never know what Trojan 'orses will jump out..

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes..

The biblical account of Noah's Ark and the Flood is perhaps the most implausible story for fundamentalists to defend. Where, for example, while loadi….

I'm in Pittsburgh. Why am I here?.

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance..

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution..

I might be in the basement. I'll go upstairs and check. We adore chaos because we love to produce order. I don't use drugs; my dreams are frightening….

My knees on the ground, dear father, don't let me break, please make me stronger..

It takes two to speak the truth: one to speak, and another to hear..

Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important..

I cannot afford to waste my time making money.

Faith is agreeing with God and saying what He says about you..

Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l..

Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right..

An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises..

You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma..

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?.

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?.