Travel works best when you're forced to come to terms with the place you're in..

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day..

It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon..

It's hard to take over the world when you sleep 20 hours a day..

Flatterers look like friends, as wolves like dogs..

Food is an important part of a balanced diet..

Of course, there are a lot of ways you can treat the blues, but it will still be the blues..

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help..

So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'..

Today a newcomer to the state is automatically eligible for our many aid programs the moment he crosses the border..

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'.

In the factory we make cosmetics. In the store we sell hope..

Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other..

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentists drill..

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man..

Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease..

I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns..

No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant..

The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe ….

My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will, never, never surrender to what is right..

Somebody said to me, 'But the Beatles were anti-materialistic.' That's a huge myth. John and I literally used to sit down and say, 'Now, let's write ….