Nobody fights with Jerry because you know the price would be too high. You might come out the winner, at his age, you might even lick him, but you'd ….

A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample..

In physics, you don't have to go around making trouble for yourself - nature does it for you..

I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care..

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed..

Remember when we was young, everybody used to have these arguments about who's better, Michael Jackson or Prince? Prince won!.

We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made..

I had imaginary friends and even they were mean to me..

I fell in love with theater there, and after graduation I moved to Los Angeles to pursue acting..

My neighbor's not even listening to me. He's all excited about some garden hose he bought at Brookstone. He's convinced it was designed by NASA. "Act….

I think the reason Jesus is so popular, just on a celebrity level, is that he died at the peak of his career..

The Internet is for haters. Everyone wants to knock somebody down, but it's cool..

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style..

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think..

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months..

We spent as much money as we could and got as little for it as people could make up their minds to give us. We were always more or less miserable, an….

For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook..

I don't need a president with a bucket list!.

Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there..

Television: The word is half Greek, half Latin. No good can come of it..

Thank you very Much, I enjoyed myself.