But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards..

I have only one ambition left: I should like to have a good epitaph..

My health plan doesn't cover dental, so I enrolled my teeth as 32 dependents, each needing a complete physical once a year..

This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country..

Hoover, if elected, will do one thing that is almost incomprehensible to the human mind: he will make a great man out of Coolidge..

Unemployment is capitalism's way of getting you to plant a garden..

Nature, it appears, has been rather more bountiful to Paul's body and purse than to his intellect; above the ears, speaking bluntly, the boy is stric….

Why would you clone people when you can go to bed with them and make a baby? C'mon, it's stupid..

The police are on the way to arrest you for stealing my heart, hijacking my feelings, and driving me crazy..

Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!.

I have no interest in sailing around the world. Not that there is any lack of requests for me to do so..

All anyone really needs to know about barbed wire is that it can tear the arse out of your trousers, give a cow a good fright, entangle a Yorkshire t….

Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence..

Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its coat tails..

You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house perso….

Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit..

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there..

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about..

I wish I had the nerve not to tip..

Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps..

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life..