She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong..

Without the New York Times, there is no blog community. They'd have nothing to blog about..

You must always be puzzled by mental illness. The thing I would dread most, if I became mentally ill, would be your adopting a common sense attitude;….

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The o….

Richard Burton had a tremendous passion for the English language, especially the spoken and written word.

A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax..

There's a trench coat and a tragedy in your future..

I see they found out the universe is 80 million years older than we thought. It's also been lying about its weight..

March isn't the only thing that's in like a lion and out like a lamb..

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work..

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no..

Learn to use the criticism as fuel and you will never run out of energy..

My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting.….

The first year I was on the show, it took an interviewer about 45 minutes to get it out of me that I even had a dog, and even then I wouldn't tell hi….

I went to rehab [for alcoholism] in wine country, just to keep my options open..

I taught Sunday School for two years. And I got fired. I abused my authority. I used to teach class like this, "OK, if one more person talks, everybo….

A good scare is worth more than good advice..

Boxing's all about getting the job done as quickly as possible, whether it takes 10 or 15 or 20 rounds..

When you're in @#*!#-ing hell, your forehead can feel a wee bit feverish. (By the way, that's the way my wife actually curses. She doesn't use dirty ….

I don't pray because I don't want to bore God..

You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow..