Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two..
The covers of this book are too far apart..
A man up in front of a judge says "I don't recognise this court." "Why not?" "It's been redecorated since the last time I was here.".
Each American embassy comes with two permanent features - a giant anti-American demonstration and a giant line for American visas. Most demonstrators….
Now, this is the fun part about getting stoned. They get stoned, then they become paranoid. Now, when they started out, they said, "Let's get high an….
By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong..
Money is like love; it kills slowly and painfully the one who withholds it, and enlivens the other who turns it on his fellow man..
Whatever advice you give, be short..
You'll see a lot of funny stuff, you'll see a lot of daddy knows best stuff, you'll see a lot of me and my wife trying to hold the family together..
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost..
Sometimes I go into my own little world. It's okay, they know me there..
The song tells me what to play..
My mom always said that there would be haters. Not everyone can love ya..
I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water". And I couldn't help t….
Trains are not any more energy efficient than the average automobile, with both getting about 48 passenger miles to the gallon..
Our job is like a baker's work - his rolls are tasty as long as they're fresh; after two days they're stale; after a week, they're covered with mould….
That's the way Stravinsky was. Bup, bup, bup, bup. The poor guy's dead now. Play it legato..
As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a misfortune to be fatherless; and considering the general run of sons, as seldom a misfortune to be childless..
Every law is an infraction of liberty..
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right..
God works wonders now and then; Behold a lawyer, an honest man..