I think Chris Rock at the Oscars was a great example. I thought that was intellectually hilarious. The Gap starts a war with Banana Republic... That ….

I believe that all women are pretty without makeup- but with the right makeup can be pretty powerful..

My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water..

I ain't shootin' nobody. So call me a faggot! When the war's over, I'll be the faggot with two legs, thank you!.

I quite agree with Dr. Nordau's assertion that all men of genius are insane, but Dr. Nordau forgets that all sane people are idiots..

I got attention by being funny at school, pretending to be retarded, and jumping around with a deformed hand..

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album..

Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle..

I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!.

Well, the clothes are really cool that we wear. The sets are so funny, because it's like everything is so real..

Where are all the sour patch parents?.

And all I know is, you've got to give me everything. Nothing less 'cause, you know I give you all of me..

The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years..

Especially the transcendental philosophy needs the leaven of humor to render it light and digestible..

The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast..

I used to work at McDonald's making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boos was trying to ….

I'm half Jewish, I'm half black, I look in-between. I dress funny. I play all these different styles of music on one record. It's like, What is he do….

If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! 'This is a rap killing! Let's ….

Beauty fades! I just turned 29, so I probably don't have that many good years left in me..

Hemingway seems to be in a funny position. People nowadays can't identify with him closely as a member of their own generation, and he isn't yet hist….