Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other..

He who laughs last didn't get the joke..

It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether..

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentists drill..

No one can be perfectly happy till all are happy..

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man..

Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease..

I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns..

No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant..

When I'm funny is when I'm angriest..

The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe ….

Become more than what you were..

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot..

Here is an unfenced existance.

One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it's such a nice change from being young..

To get down to the quick of it, respect motivates me - not success..

"No" isn't really a word I understand..

I just do what I'm here for and that's to make that music..

You are what you do repeatedly..

You can't control what you can't measure.

Most of my relatives are police marksmen, apart from my grandad who was a bank robber. He died recently, surrounded by his family..