Quotes on Humor

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement.

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.

Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.

Great men are rarely isolated mountain-peaks; they are the summits of ranges.

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.

A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to Heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.

A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.

You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.

Good nature is worth more than knowledge, more than money, more than honor, to the persons who possess it.

In order to be happy you need a good dog, a good woman, and ready money.

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.

Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

If you cry ''Forward'' you must be sure to make clear the direction in which to go. Don't you see that if you fail to do that and simply call out the word to a monk and a revolutionary, they will go in precisely opposite directions?

As one reads history ... one is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed, but by the punishments that the good have inflicted.

Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the "Ten Most Wanted" criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, "I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list"?

Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.