I know stealing a foot is weird. But, hello, living in a house where a foot is available to be stolen is weird..

In closing, the greatest threat to peace on this earth is the arrogance of a super-power [America] that is out of control..

Another good reducing exercise consists in placing both hands against the table edge and pushing back..

I believe in the truth of fairy-tales more than I believe in the truth in the newspaper..

People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little..

I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot He'd have given us bigger behinds to sit on and smaller heads to think with..

Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange..

In the world of human thought generally, and in physical science particularly, the most important and fruitful concepts are those to which it is impo….

Beer is a wholesome liquor.....it abounds with nourishment.

If the Wright brother were alive today Wilbur would have to fire Orville to reduce costs..

Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humour: he will always use it in evidence against you..

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!.

The manipulation of statistical formulas is no substitute for knowing what one is doing..

God is indeed dead. He died of self-horror when He saw the creature He had made in His own image..

Throughout my career, I've always portrayed characters that were humorous, but also weren't afraid to speak their minds, especially when it came to r….

What does he stand for?.

The lullaby is the spell whereby the mother attempts to transform herself back from an ogre to a saint..

If aliens are watching us through telescopes, they're going to think the dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's….

You're a transsexual fighting with a hermaphrodite over a mistress..

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup..

It's remarkable - most remarkable, the way these people manage, from time to time, a tragedy or a near-tragedy to break the even tenor of their ways,….