New Rule: If you still think Obama is a Muslim, you just might be a redneck. A Christian church in South Carolina has a sign out front that says 'Oba….

Why did Mitt Romney strap his dog to the roof of his car? Could it be because his station wagon was full of wives?.

There's more than one mosque in the world that used to be a church and before that was a temple. Because it's a lot easier to just change the sign on….

[George W. Bush] has balls. And he's a leader. Unfortunately his balls and leadership are in the service of shitty ideas. We need his balls on someon….

Don't call me when you're stuck in traffic. It's not my fault that radio sucks and did it ever occur to you that there wouldn't be so much traffic if….

Heroin may be bad, but it sure as hell hasn't hurt my CD collection..

Naturally the smart thing to do to solve your economic woes is to demonize the Democrats. And of course, Sarah Palin is more than happy to oblige. Sh….

What does it take for Republicans to take off the flag pin and say, 'I am just too embarrassed to be on this team'?.

We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out agains….

We're all gonna be gay if we get health care!.

In America, if a Democrat even thinks you're calling him liberal he grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads into the woods to kill something..

When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they'd said or did when th….

The president had a press conference about this this week and he said that the U.S. has no plans to attack North Korea. And then he added, 'Like havi….

I'm not into western medicine. That to me is a complete scare tactic..

Rick Santorum has come out against contraception and against college. He wants us literally to be f**king stupid..

Remember, guns don't kill people - unless you practice real hard..

Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious..

This is a powerful message from our government: we will not be intimidated by bombs; we will not be intimidated by poison; this is America, if you're….

Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?.

Stop saying athletes do it for the love of the game. They do it for the love of their 32-room mansion with the live shark tank in the living room. If….

Ronald Reagan came from show business. His idea of how the government should help the homeless was like your agent. "We'll try to get you work. But d….