What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a silver platter..

It's nine months before the election and Bush's poll numbers have fallen to the exact level that his father's poll numbers were nine months before he….

New Rule: I don't give two fingleberries and a McShit-all that Dumbledore is gay. I never wanted to know who Dumbledore was in the first place. Let a….

The comedy gods are smiling on me tonight, because I have been saying, for the longest time, that president Bush must set a timetable for removing hi….

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye..

In this country your guilty until proven wealthy..

The New York Times - but the whole country gives it that weight. It's like the Asian kid in math class. Everybody in the media cheats off The New Yor….

The Democrats are very bad at selling their own product. The Republicans are geniuses at it. And I've said it before, a bad product well apologized f….

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the 'will of the people' goes out the window..

I always wanted to be a comedian, even when I was a little kid. I had a funny father who was in the news business, by the way. He was a radio news gu….

Don't you think that being a person of faith has become a third rail in American politics? If you want to run for president nowadays, you'd better ge….

Obama is not a secret Kenyon, or a secret Muslim, he's a secret Republican..

If you believe that the world is going to come to an end - and perhaps any day now - does it not drain one's motivation to improve life on earth whil….

Guys you have way too much invested in sport. Guys you are not the tenth man. You're a machine for turning beer into piss that's what you are!.

I'm guessing our soldiers are happy to be leaving Iraq. It is no fun being in a country where there's crumbling infrastructure and an ignorant popula….

No politician is perfect. But in every election in your life, there will be one choice that is better than the others. Go out and vote for that one..

The Republicans released their 'Pledge to America.' It's 21 pages of phony charts and bad ideas. Sarah Palin got a copy, and she said, 'How am I supp….

I didn't really think a lot about religion, but I didn't really think a lot against it, either. I was one of those people who didn't go to church, bu….

I'm not a joiner. I don't like organizations..

When I do stand-up around the country, I often see people walk out. This is a show that they've purposely gone to, where my name is on the ticket, an….

Being politicians, they all got to sharing their personal stories. Obama talked about his mother's battle with cancer. Harry Reid talked about a kid ….