I don't know if you heard the news, but Wall Street now is a farmer's market. I don't want to say things are going downhill quickly, but Obama's new ….

The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right..

If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod..

There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don't get a vote..

The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity - mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism - mumbling to the wall, Islam - mumbling to the….

Sam Brownback, Mike Huckabee and Tom Tancredo - those were the three guys who said they do not believe in evolution. The irony will be on them when t….

Obama has had more fundraisers than the last six presidents combined. And he's still losing in the money race!.

It's all been satirized for your protection..

The comedy gods are smiling on me tonight, because I have been saying, for the longest time, that president Bush must set a timetable for removing hi….

New Jersey Mayor Corey Booker last night personally rescued a woman from a burning building. Or as Fox News reported it, 'black man loots house, stea….

A new cologne is coming out. It's for cowboys, and it's made from cow's manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!.

Sarah Palin has already had an effect on foreign relations... The new president of Pakistan, Ali Zardari, is in hot water, because last week, Sarah w….

I thought this election was an adult discussion on how best to protect ourselves in the face of terrorism, but apparently it was a referendum on boys….

The federal government... announced a plan to spend, like, a trillion of taxpayer dollars to buy out bad mortgages and debt. Wall Street was surprisi….

In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and s….

Government - they used to teach it in college. It's actually something you should study and learn and know how to do. The Republicans always run on t….

A lot of people have warned President Clinton that Bosnia will turn into another Vietnam, which would be embarrassing for him because he'll have to g….

Rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only ….

Saying someone is religious is heard in most of America as a compliment, a reassuring affirmation that someone will be moral, ethical, and after a fe….

We do it all the time, we legislate taste. We do it with the tax code. Churches and children get a tax break, because it's assumed that we all agree ….

Herman Cain answered the Wall Street protesters, and he had a message for these protesters. He said, 'If you don't have a job, if you're not rich, do….