Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck..

There's a phrase we live by in America: "In God We Trust". It's right there where Jesus would want it: on our money..

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid..

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country..

My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists..

In Paris, the greatest expression of personal satisfaction known to man is the smirk on the face of a male, highly pleased with himself as he leaves ….

There is a time early in life when there seem to be countless reasons for happiness, and then you discover your mom is making them up..

I saw something stupid in the paper today - a new alarm clock that makes no noise. It's for people who don't like loud noises. Instead, it slowly hit….

The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage..

Who is sitting in that empty chair?.

They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can'….

Please follow me because I have to follow him and he isn't here..

Beauty is less important than quality..

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out..

It's all very well to have principles, but when it comes to money you have to be flexible..

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public..

Living in England, provincial England, must be like being married to a stupid but exquisitely beautiful wife..

The Church has always been willing to swap off treasures in heaven for cash down..

For me, insanity is super sanity. The normal is psychotic. Normal means lack of imagination, lack of creativity..

Let's start at 35 because I don't know where it is..