Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another..

Life is the most exciting opportunity we have. But we have one shot. You graduate from college once, and that's it. You're going out of that nest. An….

Let me explain what I do here. I don't want to confuse you any more than absolutely necessary..

The man who would be fully employed should procure a ship or a woman, for no two things produce more trouble..

Men know everything - all of them - all the time - no matter how stupid or inexperienced or arrogant or ignorant they are..

I never say what I mean, but I always manage to say something similar..

Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron..

One of the reporters must have flunked journalism school because he asked a question that went straight to the point..

We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in ….

The whole of life is but a moment of time. It is our duty, therefore to use it, not to misuse it..

The most valuable of all human possessions, next to a superior and disdainful air, is the reputation of being well-to-do..

Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?.

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding..

You have to have been a Republican to know how good it is to be a Democrat..

The reason I'm not an alcoholic is I don't like to drink in front of the kids . . . and when you're away from them, who needs it?..

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need..

This man dresses like an unmade bed..

A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House..

Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?.

Every rascal is not a thief, but every thief is a rascal..

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes..