He's a fool that makes his doctor his heir..

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy..

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake..

Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time..

Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they grab is an iron hook..

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess..

These young guys are playing checkers. I'm out there playing chess..

I was never over-weight, just under-tall. The correct height for my weight at the moment is seven feet ten and a half inches..

Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect..

No guy in the history of America has ordered a Smirnoff Ice at a bar without hating himself a little..

Having money is rather like being a blond. It is more fun but not vital..

I guess I didn't enjoy drawing very much. It was like homework..

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free..

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

Solutions are not the answer..

If you're into what you're playing, that's the most important thing..

Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours..

It had never occurred to us that the Kremlin's new anti-booze campaign would apply to journalists. Now, that's a human-rights violation..

The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in you….

It is a ship with a great deal of sail but a very shallow keel..

Imagine having journalists in your own home and not even covering the furniture with plastic sheets first..