Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!.

A doctor says to a man, "You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later, the man called the….

All my wife does is shop - once she was sick for a week, and three stores went under..

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest..

The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!.

I miss New York. I still love how people talk to you on the street - just assault you and tell you what they think of your jacket..

I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair..

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock..

My son is 21. He'll be 22 if I let him..

A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out..

A Polish man in a helicopter. Goes up to 800 feet. Down it comes! What happened? "It got chilly up there, so I turned off the fan!".

She has a wash and wear bridal gown..

I asked a Jewish man, "Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?" He said, "Yes", and walked away..

"What's the latest dope on Wall Street?" "My son!".

The universe is not only queerer than we suppose; it is queerer than we can suppose.

How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O.

I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department..

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery..

When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win..

He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face..

I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, 'What's wrong?' Nothing. 'Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.' Y….