Laws are not masters but servants, and he rules them who obey them..

Men go back to the mountains, as they go back to sailing ships at sea, because in the mountains and on the sea they must face up..

You don't get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour..

Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it..

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching..

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike..

We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it..

If at first you don't succeed, lie, lie again..

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else..

Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?.

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies..

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future..

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time..

A pekingeese is not a pet dog; he is an undersized lion..

People used to be funny about approaching me, but now they seem to think I'm as sane as anyone who's done what I've done in movies can be..

This is a free country, madam. We have a right to share your privacy in a public place..

Are you, or is someone you know, a gadget freak? If so, you doubtless know that Wednesday was iPhone 5 day, the day Apple unveiled its latest way for….

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly a….

A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!.

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected..

My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!.