I mean, the question actors most often get asked is how they can bear saying the same things over and over again, night after night, but God knows th….

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men..

A dollar won is twice as sweet as a dollar earned..

People often ask me, "What's the difference between couplehood and babyhood?" In a word? Moisture. Everything in my life is now more moist. Between y….

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes..

[Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is the opinion of the present reviewer that the weakness of plot is due to the great number ….

The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy..

The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonder….

Man has will, but woman has her way..

The trouble with music appreciation in general is that people are taught to have too much respect for music they should be taught to love it instead..

On second thought, I think I am more crazy than my goat..

Today's parents grew up with the silly notion that music was meant to be heard..

The world is literally about to blow up..

The judge is found guilty when a criminal is acquitted..

There is absolutely nothing humorous at the Masters. Here, small dogs do not bark and babies do not cry..

I've heard Eric Clapner, ... I think it was a wonderful thing that Eric Clapner the musician did...So I think that's the wonderful part about it, but….

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun..

A man told me that for a woman, I was very opinionated. I said, 'for a man you're kind of ignorant'..

Eighty percent of air pollution comes from plants and trees..

Nirvana is not the blowing out of the candle. It is the extinguishing of the flame because day is come..

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them..