Terence, this is stupid stuff: You eat your victuals fast enough; There can't be much amiss, 'tis clear, To see the rate you drink your beer. But oh,….

Grove giveth and Gates taketh away..

What I've always done as an entertainer is try to come up with things that people will find interesting, or compelling, or humorous..

Ann Taylor - great name, great real estate, shitty business. Gap -great name, great real estate, declining business. J.Crew - Hellooo? Great name, be….

A formal parsing algorithm should not always be used..

Keep your tax-cutting, greedy hands off our medicare.

It was to be a short visit for the G-shevs. More than four days in the U.S. and Raisa's VISA card bill would shatter the fragile Soviet economy..

Be comfortable with who you are', reads the headline on the Hush Puppies poster. Are they mad? If people were comfortable with who they were, they'….

In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete..

When you have shot and killed a man you have in some measure clarified your attitude toward him. You have given a definite answer to a definite probl….

Humor is a drug which it's the fashion to abuse..

Every single bit of entertainment is escapism. It's because you are saying, "Let's see what this other person's life is like." And also it's beyond e….

I'll have another beer. I'm not driving..

Clearly, society has a tremendous stake in insisting on a woman's natural fitness for the career of mother: the alternatives are all too expensive..

New York has always been going to hell but somehow it never gets there..

My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age..

The metallic silver coating found on fast-food game cards..

Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot..

When my cats aren't happy, I'm not happy. Not because I care about their mood but because I know they're just sitting there thinking up ways to get e….

I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high!'.

Innovation is hard to schedule..