America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold..

There are two kinds of music; German music and bad music..

Sing of the nature of women, and then the song shall be surely full of variety; old crotchets and most sweet closes. It shall be humorous, grave, fan….

I don't at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It makes me far too conceited..

You can bear your own faults, and why not a fault in your wife?.

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot..

Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live..

Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face..

I've been playing golf a long time, although it's not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on the back of a dinosaur..

Breast Feeding should not be attempted by fathers with hairy chests, since they can make the baby sneeze and give it wind..

Golf's really fun in Japan because of the women caddies. ... I saw one guy start out playing alone with his caddie. By the 9th hole they were engaged….

I have read your book and much like it..

The whole imposing edifice of modern medicine is like the celebrated tower of Pisa - slightly off balance..

I like to be as diverse as possible. I think the humorous side and the serious side are both elements of my personality. It's what makes me who I am ….

His neighbor is a tooth-drawer. That bag at his girdle is full of the teeth that he drew at Winchester fair. I warrant that there are more sound ones….

There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic..

The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn't got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it..

My wife loves Europe, but to me it's a bad day at a theme park..

The less experienced a doctor is, the higher are his notions of professional dignity . . ..

At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind..

In Moscow they do not pay much attention to the living but keep their cemeteries in a splendid state..