The predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to determine his or her designated restroom (e.g., turtles and tortoises)..

Everyone is in favor of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its being extolled, but some people's idea of it is that they are free to say what t….

She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a saucer of ice cream..

" ... It is not my desire to wound the feelings of any person with whom I am connected in family bonds. I may be a hypocrite," said Mr. Pecksniff, cu….

At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other..

I feel that there is reason lurking in you somewhere, so we will patiently grope round for it..

Well, I'm a bacteriologist, you know. I live in a nine-hundred-diameter microscope. I can hardly claim to take serious notice of anything that I can ….

"Dr. Munro, sir," said he, "I am a walking museum. You could fit what ISN'T the matter with me on to the back of a -- visiting card. If there's any c….

I think you want a little unofficial help. Three undetected murders in one year won't do, Lestrade. But you handled the Molesey Mystery with less tha….

The unexpected has happened so continually in my life that it has ceased to deserve the name..

Well, sir, let us do what we can to curtail this visit, which can hardly be agreeable to you, and is inexpressibly irksome to me..

And yet the motives of women are so inscrutable. You remember the woman at Margate whom I suspected for the same reason. No powder on her nose - that….

This looks like one of those unwelcome social summonses which call upon a man either to be bored or to lie..

"Why, I don't exactly know about perjury, my dear sir," replied the little gentleman. "Harsh word, my dear sir, very harsh word indeed. It's a legal ….

Good Americans, when they die, go to Paris..

Any good broadcast, not just an Olympic broadcast, should have texture to it. It should have information, should have some history, should have somet….

He had never seen a woman doctor before, and his whole conservative soul rose up in revolt at the idea. He could not recall any biblical injunction t….

"Next," said Mrs Wilfer with a wave of her gloves, expressive of abdication under protest from the culinary throne, "I would recommend examination of….

Being bored is an insult to oneself..

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!.

I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that..